Tuesday, May 22, 2012

daily discovery: aidan knight and why sad music make me happy

margaret downe
 "and you knew that i forgave you, for making other plans"

When I was in school, kicking around in the green room (or in our case "Green Hall", because it was very decidedly a passageway with couches and not a room) we laughed a lot at ourselves and how many times our sentences began "I really feel that..." And while a little ridiculous at times, this regular expression of feeling as opposed to thinking does characterize the way in which I operate. And it was a big part of the reason I fell so completely under the spell of theatre. Here was a world in which my natural way of being was not only acceptable, but valued. Here were others who also felt before they thought.

Fortunately for people who have to deal with me, I like to balance my "feel-first" tendency with an over-active need to analyze, so there's little need to worry that I'll suddenly free fall into feeling leaving my brain behind. But I do interact with and experience the world primarily through emotion and intuition, feeling most connected (not to be misunderstood as most comfortable) in the presence of emotional vulnerability and freedom to express one's self. Music is unarguably a unifying element, both scientific and mystical in its proven ability to reach the unreachable, communicate with people beyond natural barriers and to reach me past my daily operating level of skin-deepness.

So when you pick up a guitar, sit down at the keyboard, and your words and heart-on-your-sleeve voice remind me of things I already know, things I yearn to understand and remind me that I am not alone, you've got me.

Since I first heard Aidan play this song last year at an End Homelessness Now event at St Andrew's-Wesley, I have been binge-listening to it. His song about broken lives and forgiveness is not my story, and I suspect is not even his own, but it transcends. And those words "you knew that I forgave you for making other plans" can only mean one thing to me. They are an unspoken understanding with my sister; four years after the fact and I forgive her, for making other plans.

For my favourite video of this song (blogger wouldn't let me upload it), click here.

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